Today was horrible in Painting. The teacher yelled at me for trying to help a friend with her acrylic paint things, and I simple just wanted to leave the room and cry. She said it so nasty that I felt like she was trying to cause harm to my already fucked up life. It really bothered me that she did that, and I almost cried in front of everyone in that class until everyone looked at me because of what the teacher said. That was when I felt embarrassed, not just because everyone was looking at me, but because I thought my crush looked as well.

Well...., more dipshits where trying to make me show again and 2 of them really hurt my feelings and I'm crying right now. This is how my hand looks like right now from what happened from me getting pissed.

Song of how I'm feeling.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fwro2pjOvUw&feature=related

Today A friend of mine came up to me asking "I'm tired of how people are picking on me. What should I do?" Well, my friend, the best thing that I can help with is just keep telling them to back off and that they are no different than you are, stay true and someday they'll will stop. It's hard to even cope with it, but if you know the right words they will stop sooner or later. You can either come find me and let me know and handle it, or just ask me what is best that you should. It's hard, I know, but understand that yes, they may do that because of their self-esteem. Look at me. My self-esteem is VERY low, but I don't bully other people. I may say some hurtful things, but that would be after they say something hurtful first. I don't "throw the first punch", because that's wrong. I wait for them to do it first, and that's when hell breaks lose inside of me. Or until my body can't handle it anymore, and I don't have any control of my body anymore until the fights over. What I'm trying to say is violence is never the answer in anger times. Just relax, and think of what you're going to say to that bully and literally give them a "slap in the face" that you're not the type of person that they can push around like you're some kinda of dead animal or something that they hate, and they will stop.

Today I just feel like killing myself because I'm tired of all the shit that I have to go through all day, and even every day. This really great guy pulls me through along with Dark Jenna and a few other people as well. Even right now I'm crying because all day I've been bitched at in some way or form. I just simple don't know what the fuck I should do. Please help if you have advice.

Well today is going not as planned. A jerk keeps bothering me and I keep telling him to back off. I can totally handle it, so don't worry about me. But Yesterday a friend of mine was crying because her new boyfriend seems like he doesn't care about her when she was hurting. I stayed with her even after the bell rang to get back to class after lunch. I really care about her like she's my sister since I've known her since I was a baby.

Thanks Guys

Wow Dark Jenna that's a little, well, you know. Helpful. Thanks. So just like what Dark Jenna said make sure that you have a friend there that you can trust or count on. Even though it may sound hard, just make sure that there is someone there that cares for you. Even though I was crying a lot today, I had like 5 people worrying for me. Thanks Dark Jenna, Geli, CeeCee, Ash, and even the lunch lady at school.

Well, this is what I said on a website....---->'Well,I completely give the fuck up on damn life because of horny ass men. I need a man (or woman) that will treat me like I'm NOT a demon or animal and WITHOUT asking 2 see my fucking body. I need fucking love, and if I don't get that I'm going to feel like no cares and stab myself.' then CeeCee cheered me up by giving me advice. No one has really done that other than Sango the wolf queen. They really have my back when I need them. Thanks guys.